In keeping with the theme of whining about social networking sites (ie: facebook), I am going to voice something that has long perturbed me. Well, no, I cannot even say long because something this freakish in nature has only existed since the advent of facebook. And even then, I can only really suggest that this has started happening in the last year or so. Although I know that somewhere, someone else has been subjected to this earlier. What I am talking about you ask? The facebook fetus of course.
The facebook fetus is an increasing phenomenon that involves women broadcasting their ultrasound pictures to all of us "friends" on facebook. Now, I have nothing against ultrasound pictures. If you want a picture of your little human inside you, that is cool. I even sort of understand it as I have had a yearning uterus for a couple years now. However, under absolutely no circumstances should that poor innocent human being be shoved into the e-universe without any say in the matter. In fact, I may argue it's defamation of character -- you get facebook fetused and it automatically proves to the world you have idiotic parents. That kind of information should stay top secret until the kid turns 4, enters kindergarten and eats glue.
If I have learned anything in the last few weeks, it is that people on facebook (at least the ones who aren't your real friends) are the ones who will ask the most inappropriate questions. Social norms go flying out the window, and people think it is perfectly acceptable to ask someone's grieving parents, who they have never met, "What did he die from?" in reference to their young son's death. People also seem to think it is okay to ask for clarification on who this person is, as if they would not have gotten word if in fact they had the right to ask that question in the first place. Facebook is not a place for social niceties.
Therefore, when you go putting up your facebook fetus, you have to be prepared for the (god forbid) reality that something may happen from point A to point B and maybe broadcasting every detail of your pregnancy isn't exactly the best idea. Childbirth is far from a perfect science-- do you want to have to explain to Joe Shmo why it is there aren't any new pictures of facebook fetus post-birth? No, of course not. But I swear to you someone will ask. Oh, and don't think this will be in a private message. I mean, someone will ask, on your wall, and then some other nice soul will respond "Yeah! I was wondering too!" and people will start talking about your business like it's their business and then rumours will start and you won't have a say in anything, just like your facebook fetus didn't have a say in the first place.
Do your kid and do yourself a favour. Keep you fetus to yourself, your family, and your friends. If no one else, Lil' Fetus and me will appreciate it.
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