When's the last time you got naked with members of the same sex? I mean naked, real naked. I can't speak for men, but on the female side of things, I am discounting the type of naked you do in the locker room at the gym. You know the type, bra on with the shirt still on (just take out your arms), and then hope you don't have to change your underwear, (but we all know if that's about to happen the ol' towel trick always comes in handy). These are tricks I felt I learned as a young girl, before I could consciously even realize that I was learning them. They've come in handy many, many times, and seem to be a standard cultural practice in most spaces where the need for clothes to come off occurs.
What has us North Americans so squeamish about nakedness in front of our gendered allies? I remember being 8 years old and going to a camp (one I later worked at) where I was required to change out of my swimsuit in a room full of other young girls. I would do all I could to capture one of the changerooms -- there were only 3 and there were about 40 girls -- it was tough, but perseverance and sheer anti-naked anxiety-induced strategy allowed me to snipe one most times. I repeat, this was at 8 years old.
Being in Korea has allowed me to take a step back of what seems to be a widespread North American naked shame party. Here, being naked with your gendered peers is common practice as going to the jimjilbang (sauna and occasionally bath house) is sewn into the cultural everyday. This means getting naked with your Mom, aunts, cousins, and friends routinely, from childhood right up until old age. These women walk around with a confidence not known to most of us North Americans. They don't cower in corners, they don't hide behind towels (Korean towels are far too small to do so even if you wanted to) and they don't do any fancy tricks to make sure no one sees your nipples when you're putting on a new bra or shirt. They just are as they are.
The naked shame thing is bad enough on its own, but only seems more disastrous when I think about the way North America is oversexed in virtually every other avenue. Pre-teens wear make-up, everyone seems to be body conscious by the time they're 10 and I don't have to go on about advertising, or music or other texts because we all know the adage "sex sells" and most of us take it for granted that it's a marketing strategy that's here to stay. For a culture that is oversexed, what has us so strung-out about being naked in front of other members of the same sex?
In a conversation with a few girlfriends of mine (while naked in a public bath I may add) we talked about how very few of us give much thought to getting naked in front of men... in front of women though? Wow, that's terrifying. We talked about how being in a space where there are others around us, also naked, is a liberating experience. We talked about how it's good to see others bodies for how they are. We talked about how when we went home, if we stripped the way we have grown accustomed to here, we would be looked at strangely -- as if we were alien to be so upfront and honest about the bodies that we personally inhabit -- but more importantly, share with other women around us. We've all got cellulite, we've all got stretch marks, some of us have asses we'd rather keep hidden, some of us have boobs we'd rather see permanently bra-ed up. These insecurities are best dealt with in the open, trying to keep them locked up amongst our sisters is to play a horrible game that no one is winning.
And so, this is a call to my North American sisters. Get naked, with your girlfriends. Let it all hang out. I warn you, it's awkward for the first five minutes. But once you let that first anxiety heap off on the floor with your clothes, you'll realize how heavy all those layers really are.
